get it idiot

dun like my hair, dun look at it, keep ur comments and i'll keep my knife.

almost there...

too tired and quiet these days...

i think so...??!?!?!?

im starting to see a thin layer of fats forming on my tummy and waist. Good start i guess.

3 days of jazz bands.
Fri: Jimmy lee, Christi smith.
Sat: Fender rhoads (saw stella, shes becoming cuter, she cant recognise me!)
Sun: Aaron lee, jimmy lee, christi smith.

Got tickets to hiromi, $36. I wonder how to get tix for muse...and pedals...

You And Whose Army? jamming session is cool, bonk's new song is i likes. D LYDIAN! LOVE IT!

Hols are coming, sis wants to bring me overseas for the very first time in my life. but need to go back school to do remt and midi. will see how things go about.

im thankful for being able to play guitar. i thank God for giving me this gift. I think i will work on my guitar work this hols.

Once again i'm gonna push my plan on cutting my hair back till the end of january.

thx adam, even if its not gonna happen, i'm still thankful that i did came into ur mind when finding guitarist. tt's cool enough.

7 threatening bubu is starting to form on my right hand. Pedal bag, im such a weakling.

pushup time, ciao!

i believe i'm from neptune

Blissful marriage for ERIC & JOLYN. Grateful for having me as part of your wedding.

2 days in a row, went to watch esplanade outdoor bands, Jazz. Probably 3 days after tmr.

its been more than a week since i've seen ur face, and lay my finger on u, and i dun miss u at all. I hope its not a sign of letting go.


Is that paragraph in ur blog refering to me?
theres so many things i wanna say, but i dunno where to begin.

i forgot to swim today.

i like the feeling of being alone.

i'm still very tired. why?


Loving And Forgiving
Loving and forgiving are you, O Lord,
Slow to anger, rich in kindness,
Loving and forgiving are you.

All my being bless the Lord,
Bless the holy name of God.
All my being bless the Lord,
Remembering the goodness of God.

Good and gracious is the Lord,
Slow to anger, rich in love.
God remembers not our sin,
Forgiving and loving is God.

As heaven soars above the earth
So great the love of God for us
As far as east is from the west,
the Lord takes our sins from us.

meltdown and midi and forced meals for mass.

tired.

no mood to go find my top.

iskandar, and his gal. biak lah. but it irritates me.

i realise i get jealous when..... ..... .. . . . . .. ........... .. ...... .. .... . . .......... ...

10 laps again, tired but still went for it, i dun actually need to push myself so hard, but...

i realise i get irritated by alot of people...

why am i so tired...i dun really know where to move the chess to for my next step...guide me...

typical gals

when pple knows that u can sing, and play guitar(even though i'm jus average at it), pple will start flocking to you. Esp gals. like just today, 4 ladies that dun usually talk to me came forward and like damn friendly lah. touchy touchy with me. wth.

it's difficult to not commit a sin everyday. even small ones are considered.

i finally entered a catholic church. damn nice. his wedding is gonna be a great one.

best wishes to Eric and Jolyn.

Baybeats...im neutral with it.
Indus i wont jeopardise. LOL the most if anything goes wrong, can always sub a lead guitarist like victor or bani or azlan.

We both are lost. Let time do its thing. May it end with a "singing solo" if not, screamo vox we have no choice.

never easy

who said things would be easy. assumption is just like an illusion.

i hate rollercoaster rides.

tmr, busy day. dun wanna think about it.

wad kind am i?

'you need to be nicer'.

babes said she has high expectations from me, i'm grateful and honoured, though i'm still far from making it yet.

I went to swim 10 laps in the pool today. cool! i'm starting to train again.

appetite is still big today! good, can gain weight. I think i'm getting use to stuffing food down even if i'm not hungry. MASS! Who can guess the reason to why i'm gaining weight? Correct answers will win a drink in FC6!

appetite is crazy today. :D!

I dun seemed to be able to get it right in school, only at home.

i think i'm gonna be torned into pieces this week, at least i dun need to bring my own guitar and gear everywhere.

GNC! I wanna go buy from GNC! Dun Care the price! Pedals can wait.

the floor has this squeechy and slippery feel. and my sole seems unable to react to it. I can slip and slide at home, i dun like.

my keyb skills sux...
i'd rather do pushups den practise them.
ET confirm kena from jimmy tmr.
pushups are way easier...

Saturday or Sunday?

No hangover!!!!! yea!!!!!

champion of the day is still the big shining pair of eyes.

Y.A.W.A.

1 song gig. pretty cool. ronin deserves worse.
those who came down, i thank you all. bani, arep, azlan, reyza, iskandar, esther and mel l.
great job to bonk, adam and benita!








If its possible, I want you to rock my world.

tmr??

tired.



faders up and faders down again. i'm a screwed up kid.



tired.

k...i get it...

i'm tired.

the ratio for today's rehearsal is 1:12 alamak!

Saw emmeline this morning, bloody hell she still look as georgous and cute as before. Too bad i'm not into her anymore. Well, who knows wad will happen in the future.

SUPER DREAM I HAD THIS MORNING!!!!Shan't tell the contents MuahahahahaHAaha...

SMIT lol...i think my second item degraded my jem. although its like a lousy guitar.

B-Quartet, best band in singapore in my opinion. Dun breakup, it will be a waste. Their song is perfect, as in PERFECT! Its like its all meant to be. No need shred, who needs shred man.
But its cool yest, been awhile since i took alcohol, it tasted different. and indeed non-cold beer suxs.
I look at the cigarette box, for a moment, i felt like taking one and thought i was a smoker. But lucky, i rememebered my ah gong. Thx ah gong! You is rock and roller!

Esther get well soon.

i'm tired.

its a cycle again

Its monday. suck donkey balls.

monday>smit...wadeva.
tuesday>wedding rehearsals
wednesday>recording demo
thursday>Jamming
friday>gig

I think i will just remove myself from the pit. thats the only way i guess. i dunno wad to do. and stop asking if i'm angry. if not, i will be. happy that u and your brother got back to good terms again. ur life will be a bit more happier, i guess.

Cass's character didnt change at all. still as unsensitive as before, first thing she said when she saw me was that i look like a punk. Shut ur unsensitive mouth up.

talked about gfs and grandparents and stuff with bonk and gang. wad topics man.
i dun think i want anyone now. gay, i wont turn into one, at least for near future. gals, cant live w/o and cant live with either. Dove, loves me forever.

Everything is in his and my hands.

Saturday 25 nov 06

You And Whose Army? finally had a 2 song gig at clarke quay today.
As a band, it was a gd effort. As James L.,i didnt think i was that great.

We got paid $20. For charity still got paid, not bad leh.

Annabelle francis is taller than i expected.

Saw barry's friend. Lets see wad happens to me next.



Went home, Jaded maAan...

Settled dinner alone outside, and watched psychedelic 4 and youthwreck at Asian Beats Final at PS. Bani shred drums, nice nice. GRUNGE!!!

Guess its not a gd day for technical issues. Nvm.

There's this weird feeling of pain in my right leg. Its like just underneath the skin but yet feels like in the bone.

I seriously dunno what is gonna happen for SMIT finals. I just wanna play my instrumental. Let me get into top 5.

Singing shred is the expression of one's emotion. I think that my solo for Bandedge is "lifting". Not that im praising myself. But those who have the video, take the time to analyse it, if possible, try to figure out wad im trying to express.

I hope esther is fine.
Tmr, Indus Gendi is jamming. YEAH!

Baybeats got audition next year. How?





There're many things in life we cant control. But there're also many things we want to control. The process of life is important and precious. So actually, passing notes are also important, not only the landing note. It is exceptionally hard to take in the fact that someone is dead and gone when we are having a more mature mind and thinking. Because of what we learn since day 1, we grew to know what pain, love, joy, sadness, anger, family, friends, romance, lust, greed, etc is about. Because of this, it seperates an infant from a grown up. My grandma left when i was in kindergarten, though i cried(according to mummy), i didnt know shit. When ah gong left last year, i did know shit. Didnt cry when i recieved the msg in school.

I remember that day, it was cold and dull that day. I was checking my prelims paper in class and den came tt unforgettable msg "Call us when you finish school today"
I heart frozed, too numb to react. I went to see him as fast as i could. In the cofin, he looked peaceful and charming. For a moment, i was hell sure that he will open his eyes and look at me and touch me. He didnt. He being a taoist, i've gotta sit in for the rituals. I brokedown. My heart ached like never before. My eyes wet like never before. My soul tore apart like never before.

Reality surfaced, he is gone forever, and it took James a bloody 1 day to realise that. It felt good to know that I can feel so weak. And that I still do need someone.

Death is unbearable, but the fact that now, u gotta spent those times alone when u use to spend with him is even more unbearable.

later

jamming just now. YAWA
was super high for the first few rounds.
those few songs were the best moments for the day.
free and light i would describe it as.

im super tired. i dun wanna care anymore, but i just cant dun care. he love the way she lets him care
but...

explosions happenes everytime i think about "it". like ti-ba-bo...
whoever is reading this is gonna laugh at how stupid and ridiculous my blog is.
i jus need "someone" to pour out to everytime.

parents stop putting block of stones on my shoulders, its already bruising because of carrying guitar and pedals. I love you two, but every morning, i feel as if u guys are depriving me from breathing. forgive me if i ever flare up at u two.

isk, reyza, dun ask me anything, coz i wont say anything.

sat's the first You And Whose Army? gig. Excited yes, im not intending to call anyone, im not expecting anyone. happy for AAADAMM, first show as bassist!!!

Adam, i know u'll be reading my blog, i wanna seriously thank you for the pedals. Thanks.

Ah Gong, where are you, i miss you, maybe heaven has a blogging system, and u are reading this. whenever im down, just by sitting next to you and looking at you doze off/read the papers/eat dinner/look out the window/walk/sleep/yawn will make my day. You are the greatest thing that i ever known. If giving up guitar will bring you back i would. Miss you like hell, i will visit your grave everytime im free, pls come to my dreams every now and then.
love
siew hong

let me tell u a story

a man saw a fire yesterday
alone, he decided to put it out
he tried killing the fire with water
unfortunately he drowned in water while trying to put the fire out.
he described the feeling as such "first, u'll feel the ache and pain of the heart. Then comes the tiredness of the body then pain, then numbness.

its the most ridiclous story line i've ever heard.
he told me, he is unbelieveably disappointed with himself
he is the stupidest thing that he ever known.

todae, i didnt bring MY FUCKING PLECTRUM OUT wad the hell is wrong with me. im damn disappointed with myself.
i dunno how to breathe.




sorry...

day 1

im tired

my joint hurts like hell, esp my knees.

everything is too heavy for me, but i still need to carry it for 2 or 3 more days.

i looked around but i didnt see you.

tmr bandedge, i will see how.

maybe u're hanging out with another person now and never know wad's happening here.

my shoulders are bruised.

i'll see wad happens tmr.

Maybe, i'll need another movie.

Maybe we both do.

b.t.h.

just friends....funny haha, well at least it helped me remove the blues and my sadness.
see the male lead having struggles with how he feels and how to express it...tsk tsk i know someone who has this similar problem.

I swear
by the moon and the stars in the sky
and I swear
like the shadow that's by your side

I see the questions in your eyes
I know what's weighing on your mind
You can be sure I know my part
Cause I stand beside you through the years
You'll only cry those happy tears
And though I make mistakes
I'll never break your heart

Chorus
And I swear
by the moon and the stars in the sky I'll be there
I swear like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there
For better or worse
Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
And I swear

I'll give you every thing I can
I'll build your dreams with these two hands
We'll hang some memories on the wall
And when (and when) just the two of us are there
You won't have to ask if I still care
Cause as the time turns the page
My love won't age at all

And I swear (I swear) by the moon and the stars in the sky
I'll be there (I'll be there)I swear (and I swear) like the shadow that's by your side
I'll be there (I'll be there)
For better or worse Till death do us part
I'll love you with every beat of my heart
And I swear

Saxophone solo.





wait
bu yao zou
work things out

how?

i seriously dunno wad to do next.

super oxymoron

explosion is unavoidable

i dunno wad im doing

i dunno wad to say

i dunno wad to feel

i dunno how u feel

i dunno wad to be

numb, jus like my legs.

miss

enchanting double eyelid

big shining eyes

bring me back

lost

sorry

feel





neil zaza shreds too much
he just wanna sweep la
the song is too thin in terms of sound


momo... in her eyes in her eyes gorgeous jealous sacrificial if only...

the day before

one fader up

one fader down

what happens

when he falls down



so...

now deh

okie

adam smart

actually, now im feeling fine.

feel the FUCKING BLUES

tired

im not typing anything today








21oct till date. tsk tsk

give me back

e-learning ended.
completed my stuff.

i seriously dunno whether i should carry on.

saw my parents fell asleep in the living room, had the urge to sleep next to them, but didnt. shit it.

i feel like disbanding the band, sell the stuffs away, buy new drums, buy heads, buy cabs, buy mics. and do some serious guitar recordings.

Van Halen is genius.

Hotcake needs a friend.

Jasmine sounds like a cool gal.

Dong is killer, so much more experience than i do.....*sigh*

Zero Sequence is shred band.

Sometimes i jus dun wanna stay home, sometimes i jus wanna.

I want to buy paul gilbert's album. I want to buy dt's album. I want to buy satriani's album. I want to buy pat metheny's album. I want to buy jamiroquai's album. I want to buy incubus's album. I wanna buy john butler trio's album. I wanna buy eric johnson's album. I wanna buy whitesnake's album. I wanna buy tom yorke's album.

I dunno what is she thinking...actually i sorta feel it, but dunno whether im correct.

ACTS test haven study, assignment not completed.
Backing track for SMIT not completed.
Bandedge haven practise.
Keys didnt practise either.
Ear Training haven train.

My ear has this popping sound for 2 days already. Its worrying, irritating, but i like to play with the popping sound.

Thursday jamming with YAWA, that's the only thing i'm looking forward to this week.

I think my life is actually quite sad...but aint that the way things go about. :D

raining

it rained todae.
i like the left side of my hair in the morning
loved the whole thing in the afternoon.
todae had the story of goddess, satan, boy going on.

went to eric's wedding rehearsal. Angela keeps on looking at me, i think she is attracted to me, ask me so many questions.

golden banana

incubus damn nice, i find the frontman hot but i still like gals, dun worry.

i went to buy pulp's disc for her, need to be sure if its them, so i told them to open up and i checked. but i havent hear it, not even put in my disc player, though the plastic is opened . i sompah okie!!

incubus power sial..."PARDON ME PARDON ME" "I NEVER FELT THIS WAY" "ETC"


i hope i can pass her the disc tmr,
i hope that i will make her day,
i hope that she will be surprised,
i hope that she hasnt got the disc.

Its cool and cold

we talked it out...
i told her "i dont think you think its possible"
she told me "i dont think that its impossible"
I felt relieved.
Of course, its jus a summary of what we had talked about, but it felt as if i've used up all my energy, and im so tired ever since i hung up the phone yest.

Someone took my heart away, and i jus wanna stone. I believe someone will return my heart soon. (not refering to anyone, jus a statement)

Went to school...forgot to bring headphones...STUPID!!!!STUPID LIKE MAD!!!!
ADAM SAID HE QUIT SMOKING!!!!!!! I felt happy for him, the "powder of love", love is a drug, lovedrug, wheres the spiders? Babes is gonna be so glad! And im Duper glad for you too AADAAM!

I feel so dreamy right now...
Im not a smoker
I dont take drugs
I love dove more than anything else(for now)
I hope things will turn better for us...

e-learning week mAAnn...

the first thing i did > went to toilet, wanted to wash up, instead looked at my hair in the mirror for 20mins!!!! i damn like my hair this morning super shiok to the plus 10million...LOLOlOOLOLOLL

remt assignment is going smoothly, mixdown the backing track, tmr can start recording lead lines, actually its later part of today lah, look at the time mAAnn...i need delay pedals and another gain booster, how?

Mel is troubled, can see, tsk tsk tsk...at least i can lend her my ears...and its cool.

i finally know why i got myself into the situation. Its becoz, she came into the picture when im alone or lonely..rather. So if it wasnt for her coming in at that time nothing would happen...hmmm...if it wasnt for my loneliness, nothing would happen...but thing is, how do i not get lonely...???? i think its best if everything stays the same, i think she thinks that it is impossible provided i think im in the shit......i'll jus see wad happens next. Like i said, i've learnt my lesson, dun wanna "retain".

REY EMO TODAY!!!...nvm, i forgive him, i always do forgive, becoz pple dont want things to turn out bad either.

happy birthday darius and amanda today(yest) and perlin and ryan(coming).

how i wish that problems would be solved if ignored,




its not even close.

for 2 days i miss you(she)...

forgive me(him)...

Jing Tian....

Woke up, didnt want to do anything, still felt sick....
jamming today, but i went to sleep after preparing to leave my place to go there earlier....headache
jamming is coool...Adam getting scarier, Bonk's fills sounds cool, Arep idea is amazing, Esther is jus great....planet zap....dark....
movie(the prestige) is great....mindfucked....
my face ARGH!!!!!!! go away....
i think she is....erm....nvm.....get out of my mind can liao.....make myself suffer only.....its always this case for me...i've learnt my lesson last time, not gonna learn another one FUCK. Ja Mes is the stupidest thing i've ever known...wadeva lah....FUCK...
victor jus said pple comparing sp with np musicians about shredders...i dun wanna think about it, i dun feel like shredding anymore, at least for now...
I'm feeling tired yet awake, im feeling sick yet not, i jus want to "dissonate", tmr need to go do some work....i dunno wad i want...
"u" dont know....dun think "u" wanna know...dun think i wanna let "u" know...

okie...

Got my .9s on dove...

i think i can play faster or izit jus illusion?

flu is getting better.....i think....

got all my gear and stuff into my room ready to press that red button with a dot in the center and do some work, but i dun feel like it anymore.

i need something SpEcIal.....

Alpha

blogging allows me to talk to myself...

which is cool...

down with flu

murderer

i shouldnt expect anything at all...